Take it in,
Did you ever imagine life bringing you here?
Close your eyes,
Give it a second,
Can you imagine all the places life is going to take you?
One of my biggest fears when I dropped out of university was that I was stuck. I was stuck feeling anxious. I was stuck feeling depressed. I was physically stuck and emotionally stuck. It felt like I would never end this perpetual loop of unhappiness, panic, and fright. This fear ruled me. It ruled every painful breath I fought to take in. At the time it felt like that was the only way life was going to go. I was stuck!
I honestly didn't even realize how how big this fear was until recently when I started noticing myself slipping back into that mindset. I start to get anxious and I think, ‘oh my God,I’m always going to be stuck feeling like this’. Someone will ask me what I plan on doing with my university and I think, what the hell am I doing with my life. I’m always going to be stuck, never knowing what I want out of life. I sometimes have moments when I wonder what’s the point of dreaming and planning for the future if life is never going to change. What’s the point in all the plans I have for the future if there is no clear, sure path towards them. And then I realized noticing these negative and often self-demeaning thoughts is the only thing that is keeping me stuck.
This year has been a roller coaster, and it wasn’t until this summer that I realized I was never stuck. I was always going somewhere, I still am. I believe that 100%. I have no clue where exactly I am going, or how I’m going to get there, so don’t ask me to explain that. I do, however, have an immense sense of faith and peace that I am going to keep moving forward because everything in my life has proved that. Here is the key though, you have to be patient and you have to tell yourself that you are not stuck.
Think about it, really think about how often does life stay the same forever. Is where you are today, physically or emotionally the same place you were at 6 months ago? 1 year ago? 5 or 10 years ago? Change is so imbedded in our existence as humans. We aren’t stuck, we never were. I think what we need to learn to do is fully appreciate where we are. If you feel like life is not going in your favor, acknowledge that, but don’t give up. Still live, fully and thoroughly. This moment in time, right now before change comes, is never going to happen again.
The day when things start moving in the direction that feels right you are going to be able to look back and know that you have no regrets. When I was at my worst I spent so much time worried about the future, telling myself that life was never going to start moving again. I wish I could have made myself understand that was not true. I could have done so much with that time, instead of feeling sorry for myself, because at the end of the day, that thinking did nothing for me.
Our time is so precious. Often our impatience to always keep moving makes us forget that each experience leads us to the next. We cannot rush the process. How will we get to where we are going if we don’t take the journey to ge there? And since we are on the journey anyway, why not enjoy it? Why believe we are stuck, when we aren't?
So think about a time, when you felt stuck, when you felt sorry for yourself. Now, think about where you are today. How much easier would it have been if you got here while being kind to yourself, while having faith, and while making the best of every moment. You were not stuck, you were living. Right now no matter what is happening in your life, remember that you are never stuck. Life will move, life will change. Don’t waste time waiting for the change. Live in the spaces in between as well.
Love, light, and positivity,